How to do laundry

It's always wonderful when the husband offers to help with the household chores. With a new baby, two dogs and a full time job the house can look (and smell) pretty disastrous by the end of the week. My DH (darling husband) "did the laundry" to help out. How lovely you say? Perhaps.




Not that men follow directions, but if they did here is how I picture him writing them for other men to follow.






Step One: Toss random assortment of clothes into the washing machine. Don't worry about separating colors or checking pockets, it's just a waste of time.


Step Two: Free pour detergent - you can eyeball how much you need, right?


Step Three: Fabric softener - fa get about it


Step Four: Don't worry about the water temperature, whatever it was on last should be fine. Hot means it gets cleaner!


Step Five: Throw entire load into the dryer. If the wife doesn't want her lingerie or silk blouse dried, they never should be near the dirty clothes.


Step Six: Cleaning out the lint trap is for sissies. If the clothes aren't dry after and hour, just dry them for another hour.


Step Seven: You are now done! (The wife can fold and put away the clothes, that's not part of "doing laundry".)

Thanks for the help hon. I really like my new light blue shirt (used to be white) and I didn't really need that wool breast pad anymore anyways. What's that new orange tie-dye effect on the whites? Oh, there was a vitamin in the pocket. "Patting down" the pockets will only help you find something large like a pen (hopefully), not money, credit cards, screws or vitamins. Also, you need to check the bras for disposable breast pads. They sure do come apart in the dryer!

I love you honey, thanks for trying!